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13 – Testament

17 November, 2011

Don’t worry, I am not dead. Nor I am thinking of committing suicide.

While I hope the moment of my dead is still far away, on another side I reckon this post is a little out dated, since it would have been perfectly on time fifteen days ago, the day worldwide dedicated to remember the dead. But what couldn’t do the calendar, was possible after reading an interview with Eddie Murphy.

Speaking about death, especially our own death, is still a tabu. But it happen to be also the only one thing everyone has in common, so in theory there is no more universal topic to talk about. And while sometimes the dark lady advise before coming to pick up us, usually she come when we are not expecting her, so it is good to be always ready.

My first thought associated with the certainty of death is that we must live every day as it is our last one. And we should never delay to tomorrow what we can do today. Except cleaning house of course.

My intention in this article though is not philosophise, but write a real testament. No need to pay for a notary. I really hope someone will make sure to respect my last will. Unfortunately I will not be there to check things.

Also, it will not happen. But if after an accident I will finish in a coma unconscious or paralyzed like the protagonist of Sea inside, for exactly one year I’ll be fighting with you attached at that machinery.

At the end of the year, if I didn’t wake up, or there has not been sensible improvements, I don’t care if euthanasia is legal or not in the country where I will be, please turn off that fucking plug. I repeat: don’t suffer and make me suffer just to satisfy your ego or respect a stupid law.

Now I’m dead, please honor me in this way.

First of all, I authorize the explant of my organs.
It is not only a way to help others, think about like you keep living in them.

After that, with what is left of my body, cremate it.

I want the ceremony not officiated by a priest, but from the person closest to me at the moment of my death. Today it would be my mom or my sister. They are also my heir-at-law. They have the honor and the duty to keep my ashes. With the only request to disperse half of them in the ceremony I am going to describe.

With the premise I wish my funeral will be the less expensive as possible, it would be fantastic if it can be staged in San Siro stadium. Otherwise any soccer field is fine. If it still exist, but as far as I know it has been overbuilt, Greco Pantagon, my first team. If not, in Trenno Park or wherever it is possible, is fine.

I want the person closest to me at the centre of the pitch with the other people on a line, equally divided on her sides. If someone feel give a brief speech, cool. Otherwise it is enough the person in the middle ask for a minute of silence, blow a referee whistle, and after the minute disperse my ashes in the air, while everybody raise his hand to give me my last hurra.

After that, everybody is invited to have a good lunch together in my memory.

I have no idea if there is something after. Personally I don’t believe in reincarnation, nor in the scheme hell-purgatory-paradise. Whatever there is, everyday I’m doing my best.

Tools & Tricks
Donate organs: Facts & Myths Unsure about donating organs for transplant? Don’t let misinformation keep you from saving lives.

Euthanasia. Learn more about euthanasia, physician-assisted suicide, living wills, mercy killings.

Choose your urn. I’ll do it another time. Actually I think the right of choice belong to who is going to keep my ashes.

Public places where I wrote this article
Biblioteca departamental en La Manzana del Saber (Cali)

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3 Comments
  1. That’s Cloudio style 🙂

    I agree with organ donation, the problem is that each country has his own laws about it and your will can’t be applied Worldwide… I’m registered in NL but if I brain-die somewhere else they won’t explant an hair.
    I think this is a good reason not to brain-die while traveling 🙂

  2. Daniele sorry for the late reply
    But I have a friend who told me you brain-died the day you said The leblon brothers are one of the best salsa performers ever

    • In that case I’m happy to be brain-died, and looking forward to their concert in Amsterdam the 3rd December 😀

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